Last week I introduced the concept of the Drama Triangle, which I first learned about through the Hendricks Institute.  Gay & Katie Hendricks have a mission to assist people in opening to more creativity, love, and vitality through the power of conscious relationship and whole-person learning.

I think that massage therapy is a great place to explore conscious relationship and whole-body learning, and I wanted to offer you other ways to shift out of the triangle and into collaboration.  The first step I’m offering is awareness.

In my own experience as a massage client, I notice myself slipping into Victim in a few reliable ways:

  • Not saying anything when the pressure’s too deep
  • Not saying anything when the hot pack starts getting too hot
  • Not saying anything when I’m feeling stuffy lying face down
  • Not saying anything when I want more lotion on my hands and feet

None of these situations are life and death.  But I’m waiting on my therapist to make a change.  To notice my discomfort.  Or just to finish what he or she is doing.  When I’m waiting on my therapist, I’m giving my power away — taking less than 100% responsibility for my own happiness and well-being.  The Victim position requires my therapist to either occupy the Hero role, to fix it for me, or to become the Villain, and ruin my massage.

In your next massage, I invite you to notice when you find yourself wishing, waiting, or hoping for what you *really* want, rather than asking for it.  See what happens and let me know!